You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you find yourself greeting the wine section of your local shop like a long lost friend. And let me tell you, that it’s made worse when a senior member of staff from your child’s school and respected member of the community catch you in full blown conversation with that bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. I now know that there is no point, at that stage of trying to explain that it was in fact for later, when, at just after 9 am, they’ve heard you exclaim “oh thank god”.
And talking of rocks, this week I also learnt that taking 9 children and 2 dogs (one of which was on heat and without a lead) to the beach on the coldest day of the year, is not the cleverest idea, along with trying to drink coffee in the face of a strong prevailing wind or similarly allowing the children to take a sneaky pee in the face of it! A watery domino effect results, if you get my drift.
But looking on the bright side for a moment, at least the afternoon only resulted in one trip to casualty, no injury that could be really described as significant and as it turns out, she’ll be out of plaster in no time! As for the puppies, I remain quietly optimistic as to how that particular cross breed will turn out and comforted that this is one area of “sexual development” that I now won’t have to explain to the children.
But now dearest Emma I must run, as I have to appear before the school’s “Maintaining and enforcing appropriate parental standards committee” in an attempt to explain that my youngest’s interpretation of Sports Relief day, was born out of a genuine admiration for and desire to be, Usain Bolt. Although yes, perhaps with hindsight, the face paint was a step too far.