Dear Emma, it’s good news and bad I’m afraid.
Monday – The one thing worse than watching your car being driven away with your house keys inside, is watching it being returned with a note “Cannot fix it”. I’ve spent the last few days driving around in 3rd gear with my hazards on (and no not because I’m over cautious) and judging by the poetic observations of my fellow motorists, this is not a popular course of action. Child 1 has been enthusiastically returning their kind gestures and was diligent enough to ask her teacher what some of them meant. Oh joy.
But good news, after only a year without one, we have a sitting room floor and I’ve painted one wall green. Bad news however is that in laying the floor Mr P has severed our Broadband connection and the dog now has a green tail. Never attempt to juggle feeding children with decorating.
Tuesday – Good news. Mr P leant me his car. Bad news, I broke it. Divorce proceedings have been filed and child 2 wants to know what “f’incar” means. No doubt he’ll ask his teacher.
Wednesday – More good news as number 3 child has finally gones back to school having been enjoying ( I means suffering) the sick bug. However the bad news is that whilst sojourning on the sofa I’ve discovered he’s downloaded £120 worth of Minion Rush Tokens on my Kindle. What the hell are they and how did this happen? He’s 5 and I thought a kindle was for reading!
Thursday – Can I make a suggestion to anyone out there who thinks otherwise. It is never and I repeat never a good idea to criticise a mother during the course of the school run. Enough said and lessons learnt I believe. No charges are being brought.
Friday – Buggar. How did I forget to collect the children from school?! They are now truly ashamed of me and child 1 has applied to children in need for support. Signing off dear Emma as officially the worst mother ever.