Oh my goodness, I think I may have found if not the cure for our mayhem and ridiculousness, at least the cause! I have not been this excited since Brad Pitt broke up with Jennifer Aniston (I always knew I could make him happy). Lucy, we are the queens of “things that seemed like a good idea at the time”. We don’t think things through, we get wonderful ideas, get totally overexcited about either our new invention, new way of cooking, driving, drinking, looking after the children (this is always a term used in its loosest possible sense) and then we just run with it, no holes barred, caution thrown to the wind and invariably, as we know, it normally ends up in catastrophic disasters.
Let me quantify this theory with a couple of examples from this weekend. I decided to organise a little protest march to try and prevent a horrid housing developer from building a one my favourite fields. You see Lucy, I genuinely thought that me being in charge of a little rabble rousing was a GOOD idea! I was the only person who didn’t have their dog on a lead and so when the cavalry of horses turned up with the other 200 people who came to show their support, it was only MY dog who ran amongst the horses and had several of them galloping off in different directions. When I shouted at the nearest man “Can you please, for goodness sake, control that dog” – he rather indignantly looked at and yelled back “it’s not my dog”. “I know that” I replied, “it’s my dog, but can you at least TRY and control it?”. The protest went off without too much incident apart from the walk back to the house where Spencer found my discarded bra (intended to take for burning purposes) and proceeded to run around the green, infront of the really nice journalist that came along, with it in his mouth.
So, we then move on to this morning, when I thought it would be a great idea to carry Alice on my back (she’s 11) to avoid a particularly muddy spot on our walk to school. She disagreed with my idea, but as I am a well respected parent in our family (I am dillusional as well as walking disaster) she finally went along with my bright idea and took a run up behind me, launched herself on my back so I stood up, not taking into account that her arms weren’t round my neck and Alice, ended up not with mud only on her shoes but all down her back, her legs and her hair as she wound up horizontal in said muddy spot.
And then finally, taking a shower with the light on without shutting the shower door when there is a tree surgeon working on the neighbour’s house. I wore a shower cap, that poor man.
So, in conclusion Luce, I think from now on, any more hair brained ideas need to be run past someone more grown up. I can only hope, that my impending nuptials are not one of these examples. I have been told that the definition of a husband is someone who seemed like a good idea at the time……………